I wasn’t writing for a while and if you thing it might have been caused by constantly feeling queasy, you’re wrong. I still am not pregnant.
February was a busy month at work and our performance was creepy. I didn’t expect to end up pregnant as we missed the big-O day and in the end, I was right.
March started differently. From the beginning of the cycle I was optimistic. The calculated date of birth would have been around the day I had the miscarriage in 2009. At first, I was scared but then I started to like the idea having a date at which something was taken but later given. We tried around the big-O and about six DPO slight cramps started. I thought it might have been nesting cramps and was quite happy. Ten days after big-O I started spotting. Not the typical brownish spotting but deep red. I was alarmed and thought about seeing my Gyn. On the other hand I knew that if this was the beginning of a miscarriage my Gyn. could not stop the process during such an early pregnancy. I was hoping the spotting/bleeding would stop but if it did it came back after a couple of hours. I had to face the fact that another month passed by without getting pregnant. I thought about the possibility of a so called chemical pregnancy and decided not to test before aunt flo knocks on the door but one day before I was due I wanted to know and made a sensitive test which came out negative. I was relieved that there had not been an early pregnancy but it also made me worry about the strength of my psych.
Currently, we are hoping that the Easter bunny will bring a fertilized egg and we will be able to welcome our own “Santa baby” at the end of this year. But until the day we will find out I need patience for the two weeks wait. Keep your fingers crossed!
Love,
Julia
